There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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