I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
