Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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