She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
