You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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