My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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