im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
