i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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