people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
