four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It was a blind-side dick pic.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
