He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
people are starting to question the shark bite story
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
