You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
