Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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