just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize