That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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