id be glad to
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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