he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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