sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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