She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
