So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
