Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
