matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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