And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
