guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
