nut hugger
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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