Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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