no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
