I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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