Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
