The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize