Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
