so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
