So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
