If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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