Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
