So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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