I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
