We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
