Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
