My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
