you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
