Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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