My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
