i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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