Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
