its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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