I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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