belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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