i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
