so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
my poor anus
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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