the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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