You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
