marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i think we sleep fucked last night...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
