Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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