i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
