Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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