did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize