Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I bet he comes in French.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
