he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
