ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So vagazzling was a success
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
