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I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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