he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize