the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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